This sweet little center-fielder is my six year old son, Brody.  Like most parents feel about their own "mini-me's", I would do anything for this child.  Also like most parents, I fret about all of the choices I make and don't make for him.  One day, in the blink of an eye, he will be off in the world making all of his own life choices but it's my job, between now and then, to give him the best tools for understanding his own power and making his own choices.  Then he's on his own.  Food is one of the areas we talk about a lot.  

As I end day five of my Forks Over Knives nutritional program, I can't help but notice how my diet changes have impacted my attention to Brody's.  He doesn't know it, but that is probably for the best.

For example, when making his turky and cream cheese wrap this weekend I decided to mash a little ripe avocado into the cream cheese before I spread it.  I knew he was going to ask about the wierd color of the cream cheese so I was ready..."I put some food coloring into it.  Now it's a Green Lantern turkey wrap!"  He had a double-serving.

It's little things like this that can really add up.  Small changes that I believe, over time, have a large impact.  And if I'm wrong, I'll at least be able to say I had noble intentions.  But what scares me sometimes is what I don't know that I'll regret later.  Regarding food consumption, I think about things like, "What's this whole thing about GMO's?  Will my family be ill later because I didn't pay attention to them now?", or  "How extreme should I be with Brody about his diet?  He's going to go to college some day and eat all kinds of s**t.  Will a drastically healthy diet now really have an impact on him when he's gone?", and "What are these stories I hear about artificial sweetners?  They say they could cause cancer.  Should I use them or have Brody be consuming greater quantities of sugar/calories?"  And now they are talking about milk...it's benefits (well-known) and, according to this diet, not OK (click this link to see their reasoning).  I've also heard rumors recently that only in the United States do people consume milk regularly as part of a balanced diet.  Most humans are weined from it early in life (so they say).  There is so much information out there on food do's and dont's that it's hard to keep up and know what to trust.  The onslaught of information sometimes makes me want to remain ignorant.  

But Monday morning was one of those eye-opening times where I connected what I was giving Brody with what it may do to his insides.  I was putting his lunch together when I saw a funky film on the inside of his stainless steel thermos.  At first I thought I hadn't washed it but once I ran my finger around the inside rim, I figured-out that it was some kind-of residue--similar to the picture on the right.  "Funny," I thought, "because I don't wash this in the dishwasher so where could this be coming from?"  That's when I put together that the only logical place it could be coming from was the sugar-free drinks that I put in this thermos every day.  Gross.  Didn't see that coming.  "If it does this to a thermos, what does it do to the inside of us?" I thought.  So I decided no more of those drinks for him and poured his thermos full with fresh squeezed orange juice.  I'm not so sure I would have been so observant nor have had a healthy alturnative available had it not been for my current awareness about what goes into my body and how that may impact me.

This all leads me to ask, "If we know or learn a thing to be true...about our diet and the foods we eat...what are the responsibilities that come with that information?"  Trust me, I in no way want to get political here but it's hard not to.  Let's go back to my thermos example.  Since it seems pretty factual that the residue is from artificial sweetners and I see what it does to a thermos that gets washed after every use, it's probably fair to think that the same residue does something funky to our insides...like sticks in there or something.  If all of that is true and the residue sticking on my insides is assumed unhealthy, what is my responsibility to Brody?  Now let's throw-in a money component.  I buy those sugar-free drink mixes so I can make 2 quarts at a time which is cheaper than boxed drinks that tend to have regular sugar in them.  So now we have a savings to my bottom line because of those artificial sweetners.  Take this single-family scenario and extrapolate it to include big agriculturally-dependent companies.  This is a big topic with potentially huge consequences.  Who knows where the truth lies?  I bet money there are plenty of morally and ethically sound businesses that just want to make good food that people like and make a profit doing it.  But I am equally as confident that there are businesses out there whose vision is blurred by the pressure of a healthy bottom line.  I wish I knew who they were.  Just some "food" for thought.

Yah know, I gotta hand it to myself for a minute.  One of my favorite bar foods...no, my very favorite bar food is the cheese stick.  The fried crispy outside that gives way to the warm, gooey, stringy center.  The salty, tangy marinara that pairs with it so perfectly.  It's really some crazy piece of food art in my humble opinion.  Well, the last two nights, John and I have been out at bars.  And each time, the place offered this amazing (and underrated) appetizer.  Each time, I passed them up.  Now that takes some hutzpah, especially when you have a couple of beers in you. 

I cannot accurately express just how difficult this past weekend was.  I tried to in my last blog, but sometimes you don't really know how bad things are until you are out of them and looking back.  It's Monday evening and I'm better.   Not feeling normal yet, but much better.  First, I want to thank my friend "Benny" for reaching out to me last night after I posted my blog.  A year and a half ago, Benny began a nutritional regimen that required him to spend at least his first week on an "organic cleanse" that left him feeling and experiencing much of what I have been going through.  He told me to hang in there and said things would begin "leveling out" in a week or so.  Said the first week is BY FAR the worst.  Thanks Benny.  Needed that.

It was tough to wake-up again today with hunger and funkiness fore-front on my mind.  Actually, I was pissed.  "This totally sucks," I thought.  I made a descent smoothie (my own concoction) and tried to move on.  After Brody was on the bus, I thought about how this funky state of mine could be quickly be remedied by a  Chicken Biscuit from Chick-Fil-A.  Satisfaction would be immediate.  I'm not lying.  Food's effect on me is incredible.  But sadly, I headed to my local "earthy" grocery store, Rainbow Blossom, for round five of the grocery-store tango.

Pulling up, I remebered that this place had a smootie bar inside.  Not just any smoothie bar...a vegan smoothie bar.  Within minutes I was dancing around the store with my Gorilla Delight; slirping my second smoothie before 10am.  This one, though, was packed with nutrients and protien.  When they heard about my experiment, they hooked me up real nice....  Thanks LIFEbar!!!  I'll be good for at least another hour. 

The next 35 minutes I spent reading more lables, but this time I was focused.  No more of this recipe s**t.  I want quick stuff.  Put it in my purse, run out the door and nibble/nuke as I please.  Seventy dollars later I had a "whole bunch" of nibble stuff, some bread (wahoo!!) and a pleasently full belly (see picture for EVERYTHING I bought for $70).  I slipped into Trader Joe's ($40 more spent) for more produce and headed to John's place.

Monday's are my favorite day of the week.  Both John and I are off work and we always spend the day together.  Never know what we might get in to.  Today I was so happy to hop out of my car in good spirits and share that with John.  We both deserved it.  He's really been supportive of this lifestyle change and even stated he would eat anything I cooked.  I've also noticed that although he is not doing this with me, he's beefed-up his veggie intake and been watching what he eats.  He's never been a big junk-food guy but is still making healthier choices.

Take last night for example.  I made meal #2:  Curried Rice Salad.  The ingrediants looked promising:  brown basmati rice, zest & juice of two limes, brown rice syrup (like corn syrup), dried currants, green onions, cilantro, jalapeno pepper, red onion & curry powder.  As I put it all together, it was starting to taste promising.  Then I added the rice to it and I didn't like it very much.  I had this huge bowl of brown rice "salad" and didn't want to eat any of it.  John, on the other hand, said, "This tastes really good.  A little salt and pepper and it'd be great."  While I only had a small scoop for dinner, John filled his plate and even made some "umm" sounds as  it went down the hatch.  After dinner, I placed the bowl in his fridge (he likes late-nite snacks) and went home with Brody only to return 5 minutes later when I realized that Brody had forgotten his shoes.

After I rolled out of his driveway last night, John picked up his phone and pressed speed dial.  "Cafe Lou Lou's.  Would you like to place an order?"  Yes.  That's right people.  Sweet Brother John placed an emergency call to his favorite sandwich joint immediatly upon my departure.  It all happened so lightening-quick that he'd hung-up with them before I rolled back into his driveway to pick-up Brody's shoes.  Guess that's another unforseen side-effect of this diet:  deception.  Great.  My son pukes up the meals and my boyfriend eats them and then orders take-out behind my back.  Too funny.  At this rate, bet I'll be plotting against myself any day now.

After a few hard laughs about John's admission, my day only got better when I scored my first big success cooking on this diet.  I decided to wing-it making hummus.  I needed something snacky and spreadable and easy...something I could lean on when I got "hangry" -- my cousin Andrea's word for hungry and angry.  Besides, how hard could hummus be?  Chickpeas, tahini, a little kosher salt and lemon juice.  WHAH BAMM!!  At first, the blender didn't want to cooperate but with a little smooth talking and some gentle pokes to those little peas, I was blendin' freak in no time.  After my first sample, I started giggling and jumping around.  As the spread got creamier and creamier I spoke to it.  "Come on.  Come on.  Gimme some of that chickpea magic."  "Uh huh." "Work that hummus.  Work it."  IT WAS DIVINE.  COSMIC.  An experience that could only be fully appreciated after three days of diet doldrums.  I was giddy as we munched on it and kept commenting on how good it was.  We ate it with everything today...carrot sticks, crackers, plain and even on my baked potato.  I will sleep well tonight knowing I've got a growing arsinal of foods to count on.  John will sleep well too but probably not from the hummus.  My bet is it will have something to do with the Tony Boombozz pizza driver that just pulled into his driveway. ;)

You read that title right...after 8 minutes (I timed it) of feverishly grating these two limes for my second Forks Over Knives recipe, I said, "Screw it!", cut one open and proceeded to drink a rather stiff vodka tonic (heavily garnished with one of those rediculously looking "shaved" limes) to calm the nerves I have been carrying around this entire weekend. 

Once adequately buzzed, I went back to cooking long enough to become frustrated, yet again, that the meal wasn't coming together the way I had hoped.  Hungry, tired, and surely affected by the changes in my diet, I finally gave in and cried on my boyfriend's shoulder about this stupid project.  I felt silly for crying about a diet, but the release was just what I needed.  Readers, please note the following:  this diet is not for the weak, the impatient, or those on a very tight budget.  Nor is it for single parents working a full-time (or multiple) jobs or people with social lives, ten fingers, ten toes, or a belly button (OK, I'm exaggerating a bit).  And, if and when you start this change in lifestyle, I HIGHLY recommend a thorough game plan prior to starting.

Here's the thing: of all I have learned so far, the most important lesson is that in order to be 100% true to the diet you must prepare almost EVERYTHING from scratch at home.  Even if you plan to just have a salad at a restaurant, your choices are either to sprinkle the salad with citris juice or vinegar, eat it plain or bring your own home-made dressing because anything a restaurant has will not match the diet's specifications.  On Friday, that was a fun, novel thing...to make my own dressing.  I did it with Sarah and it was no problem.  But doing it day after day get's rough.  And since I haven't done much research about convenient, on-the-go meals and snacks that I can eat, I'm left with a hungry belly, some expensive ingrediants and a recipe that will most-likely disappoint.  I hope I am wrong.  If you are reading this and have any pointers or good food ideas for me, I excitedly welcome your input.  I want this to work and I want to have a good attitude about it but this little lifestyle project is kicking my shrinking ass.

Once John sat me down and took over cooking duties, he noted that perhaps this Forks Over Knives way of life was so successful in helping people loose weight because it took so long to actually feed yourself enough food.  Between the marathon grocery shopping, the recipe reading to find something that sounds kind-of good, the cooking with new techniques & equipment (Cuisinarts, vegatable broth sauteeing, blenders, mandolins) you've practically carrot-sticked your way through the whole day before a hot meal is available.  The weight loss occurrs as you cook. 

After a few good laughs, I opend-up with him about some of the other things I was experiencing.  For example, I am 4x as "regular" as I was prior to Friday.  I'm not running to the toilet all the time, but let's just say I'm logging more hours in the bathroom.  And I'm gassy too.  I also just don't "feel" right.  I liken it to the way someone might feel after being up for over 24 hours straight.  You're awake and you can function, but your head is not fully in the game.  That's how I feel.  I don't think it's too off-base to entertain the idea that I'm going through a little withdrawl.  Since Friday, there have been at least a few times where I would have cured my frustrated/anxious/sleepy/blue mood with some form of food.  Maybe a Jolly Rancher, maybe pretzel sticks in peanut butter, maybe a Quarterpounder w/ Cheese.  So perhaps I'm off-kilter because I'm experiencing a) a lack of crap-food in my system that my brain had grown accustomed to receiving when "things got rough" and, b) greater frustration/anxiety/sleepiness/depression because I can't vamoose these moods the old-fashioned way.  Hummmmmmm....this is worth looking into.  And that's just what I plan to do.  Stay tuned...

What I ate today:

Breakfast:  large bowl of oatmeal with fresh berries, banana, flax seed, chia seeds and maple syrup
Lunch:  leftover Southwestern Mac and "Cheese"
Snacks:  frozen grapes (AWESOME!), celery dipped in peanut butter, banana
Dinner:  Curried Rice Salad (it's got potential)

**I also started day with orange juice to get my sugar levels up quickly.  Yesterday I was too weak getting out of bed.  Today was much better in the morning.

I've been up late the last few nights doing this blog.  No surprise when I had a very hard time getting out of bed today.  My son, Brody, climed into my bed and sweetly told me it was time to get up.  After explaining that I have been "working on that computer project late for the last few nights," he suggested I work on the project during the morning and afternoon so that I can get good sleep at night.  "I want you to get enough sleep, Mom."  Ahhhhh, children.  There is no way to explain how gushy they make you feel inside; especially when you least expect it.  And, I'm gong to take his advice.

First things first.  My weight.  The above pic is how much I weighed in the am yesterday morning.  As I crawled out of bed today feeling run-down and hoping I wasn't getting a cold, I couldn't help but feel lighter.  Like, thinner.  I pulled out my scale (something I didn't think I would do very often during this experiment) and...holy crap!

This is what I weighed today.  Can you believe it?  I know that weight on anybody can fluctuate a bit.  On me, maybe a pound or two a day.  But 3.5 lbs is a LOT for me.  Actually, it makes me a bit uncomfortable to see such a change in one day.  Not that things will continue this drastically, but if I were to consistently lose weight at this rate, I would be -27.5 lbs by the time this was all over!!  Now THAT would make for an interesting blog.

Today, in addition to cooking my first hot meal on this diet, I made sure to up my fat intake.  Avocado and dry roasted almonds were eaten at-will.  I don't want to gain the weight back, but I really didn't like how I felt as the day progressed and loosing a lot a weight really fast isn't good for anyone.  I was lethargic (which I expected) and I was also anxious, jumpy and a little-bit "poopy boots" as my friend Murph used to call it in college.  Translation = depressed.  Now, if you happen to know me or my sister well at all, you also may know that we are very sensitive to our food intake.  Being hungry or malnurished really alters our mood.  For me, this is so apparent that when I feel off-kilter, the first thing I do is feed myself...and it makes me feel better EVERY TIME.  Today, though, I really didn't have anything that could fill my gut.  I ate a huge bowl of oatmeal for breakfast--loaded with fresh fruit, flax seed, chia seeds and walnuts---but was hungry in 2 hours.  I snacked from that point until I had a chance to make my first Forks Over Knives recipe...Southwestern Mac and "Cheese."  I felt better after I ate that, but it was 4pm by then.

So here is the Southwestern Mac and "Cheese" that I made.  It's basically a cassarole of vegetables and whole wheat elbow macaroni mixed with a "No-cheese" sauce made with (surprise) vegetables.  Oh, there's also a whole cup of that Nutritional Yeast in it too.  Taste?  I'd give it a 6.5 out of 10.  It had enough flavor, was surprisingly creamy, and definitely filled the gut, but I wasn't doin back-flips over it.

Brody definitely didn't like the cassarole.  This was best illustrated by the two self-imposed pukes he had when I insisted he eat his two bites of the mac and cheese before getting seconds with the rest of his dinner.  You know the kind of puke I'm talking about...he puts some in his mouth, does a few deep cough-chokes which then triggor his belly to bring it back up.  When it's only saliva and your two vegan bites that are landing on your kitchen floor, you know it's not an upset tummy; it's retaliation.  He's done this a few times before so, unfortunately, I can sometimes predict this.  I was furious (inside).  Not only was my day pretty s****y, now my kid is revolting against dinner in the form of tears and vomit.  And it wasn't just any dinner...this was my first attempt at a home-cooked, nuttin-but-healthy, "this could be our new lifestyle" kind-of dinner and I got an intense veto.  Nothing to do about it but laugh, put Brody to bed early, pop open a bottle of wine, and let Calgon take me away.  I don't give a rats ass whether liquor is on the diet or not.

Day one, complete!  And I have to say, day one was pretty darn successful.  The whole morning I spent planning the work (of the diet) and the afternoon was spent working the plan.  It's 10:08pm and I can tell you that I did not spend any of the day hungry which is really what I thought would happen with this experiment....eat greens like it was going out of style and yet, never feeling full.  But that has pleasently not been the case.

After going to the doctor (we'll call her Dr. Pond) this morning, I don't think my medical results for this trial-run will probably be as drastic as any of the stories I heard on the film. I'm a pretty healthy lady.  I didn't go in with a poor medical history, I am not on any medications, my blood pressure was 104/62 and my weight is within the normal range for my height.  The blood work will take about a week before I know more than this, but I am optimistic.  The best part about my visit with her was learning how familiar she is with the Forks Over Knives theory.  Not only is she aware, she is a big believer in it.  Dr. Pond and her family stick to the whole-food plant-based diet except for the addition of fish 1-2 times a week.  She is in full support of my experiment.  Surprisingly, I was relieved to her her say that.  I've been charging ahead with this Forks Over Knives project without a whole lot of consideration as to how strange or extreme this may sound to those that haven't seen the movie.  When she started nodding her head and chiming in about it, I relaxed.  She has been doing for years what I have just started.  It was really nice to share a similar conviction level about what I wanted to accomplish and why.  I didn't know I craved such identification with another until I had left her office.  Thanks Dr. Pond!

As was the case yesterday, I spent an exorbitant amount of time shopping.  Two grocery stores & William Sonoma (for a food grater and a mandolin to help with food prep) took-up the rest of my morning and the beginning of my afternoon.  I was down-right pissy by the time I reached Whole Foods (third shop).  I still needed brown rice vinegar, nutritional yeast, currents, vitamin B12, brown rice syrup and a few other things.  I prayed that they would carry (and I would find) what I was looking for but, since I didn't know what these things looked like or where they were located, it was a but grueling. 

Take, for instance, nutritional yeast.  Who has ever heard of this? And if someone has, where would you find it in a grocery store?  To me, it made sense to begin in the baking aisle with all the baking yeasts.  That is where I went first at Kroger but it was a complete bust.  All kinds of yeast, but nothing nutritional about them.  Then I went to the organic section of the store where there were (again) many yeast options...some in small vaccum sealed packets, some in brown-tinted glass jars...but none of it said nutritional.  So I looked on the back of the packages.  Maybe all yeast is nutritional and this is just an exaggeration by the cookbook author to emphasize your nutritional benefit from eating this ingrediant?  But, no.  Yeast packets contain...drum roll please...yeast, and no real nutrition.  When I came across the most unique-looking of the yeast options I was super-close to putting it in my basket and convincing myself that I was, in fact, looking at the right product.  Immediatly, though, visions of being wrong danced in my head.  I saw myself becoming puffy and bloated from consuming too much of the wrong kind of yeast; side effects of the yeast expanding inside me.  I'd swell upwards and sideways, eventually resembling the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man.  With the jar back on the shelf, I walked away defeated. 

I did eventually find what I was looking for.  In my ingredient photo above, it's the yellow bottle in the middle.  It looks nothing like yeast.  It looks like yellow fish food...you know...the flakey kind.  It was in the seasoning isle next to the seasoned salt.  Who knew?  The bottle claims it "adds delicious flavor to foods & recipes."  And to test that claim, I'm gonna open it right now and let you know what I think.  Here goes------First, I note the bottle is sealed for freshness.  That's a comforting sign indicating it's a quality joint producing this stuff.  They've at least got that going for them.  Sniff.  It smells like chicken or beef boullion cubes.  Lick my finger, put it in the jar...holy crap!  It's potent...potent....potent what?  I tried it 4 more times before deciding it tasted like pork rinds.  Slightly burnt pork rinds.  Not entirely unpleasent.  This is one of those products I think I could acquire a taste for with a few go-rounds. 

Moving on...

FRUIT PECTIN:  a naturally occurring substance (a polyscaccaride) found in  berries, apples and  other fruit.  When heated together with sugar, it  causes a thickening that is  characteristic of jams and jellies. (according to pickyourown.org).  Wahoo!!!  It's not a sugar!!  This discovery lead me to my most enjoyable purchases of the day:  Crofter's Organic Strawberry Fruit Spread and Mary's Gone Crackers Organic Wheat-Free, Gluten-Free Herb crackers.  So pleased that I finally found products that passed the stern limits of the Forks Over Knives diet, I delighted in every bite.  John loved both and Aidan (John's son--who only tried the crackers) like it too. 

What I ate today that kept me feeling content and full:

Breakfast:  4 celery stalks with peanut butter and raisens (ants on a log)
Lunch:  Amy's Butternut Squash Soup with whole grain rice added
Snack:  1/2 a banana, some of those good crackers and some of that fruit spread
Dinner:  Salad and vegetables with homemade orange/walnut/tomato salad dressing
Vitamins:  B12, Multi, D, E, Zinc & C.  Vitamin B12 is the only one I added to my regular routine.  Dr. Pond recommended it for energy maintenance.  Said it's the only vitamin that is lacking from the diet and this confirms what the book said.

Can't explain why so little kept me so full.  Looking forward to actually cooking tomorrow! 

Well, it's almost the witching hour.  Hard to belive I came-up with this whole idea this afternoon.  Then I called my Dr. and BAM!  Thay can fit me in for a complete physical tomorrow morning at 9:30.  I really wasn't going to incorporate blood work into the things I monitored, but since I haven't had a physical in 3 years I figured it's about time and seeing the results at the end of this will be enlightening.

I made my first vegan run to the grocery...Trader Joe's.  Spent $54.00.  It's enough to get me started until I can coordinate recipes with a shopping list.  Among other things, I bought:  extra firm tofu (they say it's really creamy-whavever), coconut water, produce to maked roasted vegetable whole-wheat pitas, grapes (to freeze as a sweet snack).  Earlier this week I bought the official Forks Over Knives Cookbook to supplement the how-to companion book on the whole matter.  I've got my eye on a few recipes but the first thing I want options for is SNACKS!!!  I'm a muncher so I gotta have variety and I gotta have it often.  Two disappointments with my first grocery experience:  1) the number of things you pick-up, read the label on, and put down is frustrating.  Just when you think you can buy that fat free, gluten free, sugar free, all natural, juice-sweetened cherry jam you see that second-to-last ingredient is fruit pectin.  "Hummm.  Fruit pectin.  Is that a form of sugar?  Pectin...sounds like a sugary word.  I better put it back.  Don't want to chance it."  and 2) the grocery trip learning-curve for this way of eating makes for a long shopping experience.  Brody drank 11 samples of lemonade while I investigated stuff in only two of the aisles.  And, to top it all of, I already have to take something back.  I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED YET!!  Ak-mak whole wheat organically grown crackers contain dairy butter---a major no no.  Oh well.  It could be worse.  I could be doing a diet that got rid of startch.

Well, here it is.  The "before" picture.  I'm not overly proud of my body, and I'm not embarrased about it eather, so there you go.  I shrunk the picture a bit in hopes that would help make me look smaller.  Brody (my 6 year old) was the stellar photographer who told me to say "cheese."  He actually turned on some back-ground music for the photo-op.  What's that all about? 

He and I had our "last supper."  Bruchetta and a fab pizza at a new place within walking distance of our home.  I told him about my food changes, to which he said nothing.  I've decided not to put him on the diet.  I'll expect him to try everything, but I'll still make regular things that he can enjoy while I conduct recon on healthier eating.  When John & I talked about trying the diet (which he will NOT be doing with me) our first question was, "But what about the kids?"  Perhaps we should just assume that if we eat this stuff, so should they...we are big believers in preparing only one meal that all either eat or don't eat...but if there's a significant possibility that what you're going to prepare will taste like ass, should they really have to suffer with you?